Last Dance

Not every throuple works out. Sad fact. But not every throuple ends up in a sword duel, either. This one does. Now, in the series, we got to see a picture of Morticia as the captain of the fencing team (and we already know that Gomez fences) AND WE NEVER GET TO SEE THEM FIGHT?!? Well… had to do something about that. I also wanted to add a dimension to Larissa’s reaction to Wednesday, something more nuanced than the 80s’ trope of “girl doesn’t get boy.” Instead I went more for “You could have had this life if you hadn’t…” which could lead to both bitterness AND overprotectiveness (in a positive way).

From “Full of Woe” (fanfic) Chapter 14/17

Gomez goes into the fencing hall and rips off his shirt, striding over to the rack of foils to choose an epee. Caressing his blade in appreciation, he strips off the safety tip and steps back with a flourish.

His opponent does the same, removing their shirt with certainly more grace than he did, then chooses a blade and tests it, before making sure it is lethal as well.

Gomez sighs, a little wistfully. “Are you sure this is what you want to do, min klaere?”

Larissa frowns. “You are leaving me little choice.”

Gomez ’ eyebrow raises in more than a little consternation. “I have been open enough in that I am willing to share.”

“That would be the issue.” Larissa abruptly sweeps forward, slicing down and then back at Gomez, who blocks the strikes with swift efficiency. “I’m not willing to share her.”

After that, there is little time for repartee. The two move in a mad dance, courting death. Larissa, sure in their footing and in their position, the superior of the two. And then there is Gomez, unreal in his sword work: using ridiculous parries and sweeping strikes that under no normal rules should provide him a defense against his opponent. Yet still, after a grueling amount of time has passed, the two fling away from each other, exhausted, sweating, breathing hard. Both of them unscratched.

“You set a good tune.” Gomez finally says, hands on knees, almost laughing.

“This.” Larissa gulps in a breath. “This is not a dance!” Then Larissa screams and charges.

With a grin he takes the charge. Blocks it. “I see you’ve studied your Agrippa.”

Larissa spins Gomez forcefully away. “We both have. We went to the same fencing school, you idiot . ” They stop, angry. “Oh. It’s a line from that stupid movie . ”

“Oh, you loved that movie, my sweet.” Gomez grinned. “You spend a whole month after watching it intimidating the first years by saying ‘prepare to die’.”

Larissa moves in and hacks down, driving Gomez back. “You. Don’t. Get. To decide. What I like!”

Gomez pirouettes to the side and behind them. “Fair enough. But we both know you and I like her . ”

Larissa whirls around. The tip of their blade dances just a fraction of a hair over Gomez ’ eye but he turns aside before it can pierce either his eye or draw blood off the bridge of his nose.

“Too slow.” He states, with some delight. “But a good effort.”

Larissa backs off. “I can help you. I can give you the world. Money, riches, whatever you desire. We could work together… if you give me her.”

Gomez bows in response. “What use has a man for even the sun and the moon itself, if he gives up on love?”

Larissa moves to engage again and the two fight, each feeling their strength ebb with each caught blow.

It’s Larissa who breaks again. “If you’re so convinced she loves you, then let me win. See if she choices you over me.”

“My darling, you were the one who chose the dance and the tempo. I’d sooner perish at the tip of your blade than leave the floor unresolved.” With that, Gomez tosses his sword into the air and flips towards Larissa. Larissa surges forward as well, hoping to catch him unguarded, unready, but his sword somehow ends up in his palm, diverting theirs from sliding across his cheek.

They are locked, pommel to pommel, and Larissa ’s form ripples. Standing in their place is Morticia. “I could be her.”

Gomez pushes them away, disturbed.

“I could be her. I could be any woman you desire. Any person you desire. Just give me her.” Larissa reaches out a hand.

Gomez frowns. “We’ve played this game before, my love. And I knew you weren’t her then. You will never be her equal. ”

His words strike hard. Larissa moves swiftly and without thinking, eyes cold and angry. But he’s not there. He’s to the side.

There ’s blood on the tip of his epee.

Larissa quickly holds their hand to their cheek.

It comes away wet.

Gomez shrugs. “I win.”

Larissa’s form shifts into something vile and unwholesome. Moving swifter than even Gomez can follow, Larissa aims the tip of their sword straight at his heart.

In this moment, there’s nothing he can do.

Suddenly Larissa’s sword is deflected. Their lunge at him is checked hard, forcing them to stagger off to the side.

Morticia is there.

With a look of sheer fury, she takes a place in front of Gomez, shielding him. She glares at Larissa, who, on their knees, shifts back to a more suitable shape.

Morticia!” Gomez cries in delight.

With a single move, she whips her foil across his face, drawing blood and forcing him to his knees. “I am not a prize to be won. ”

Shock registers on his face. He nods.

She turns back to Larissa, who is closing the distance. Her foil goes up to Larissa ’s face, stopping them. “Nor am I a trophy to be set up on the shelf away from any who might desire me.”

Larissa goes stock still, and then tears pour from them as they sees Morticia’s sincerity. They grab the epee and pull the point down to their bare chest. “Then kill me, ” Larissa says. “Just drive your blade straight through my heart. Put me out of my…”

Morticia interrupts the commentary by shoving her blade right through Larissa.

Larissa lets out a squeak. “You… you.”

Morticia shakes her head. “You are always so dramatic. I saw you shift your heart three inches to the right.”

Larissa grimaces. “…two inches.”

“Oh.” Morticia pulls the blade out. “Then I barely nicked it.” She scratches her forehead. “You should probably go get it checked out by the nurse.”

Larissa nods and limps out.

“If I see you smiling…” Morticia warns Gomez “I will cut your ears off.”


“Yes, what?”

“Yes, mon cherie.”

Morticia nods. “That’s better.”

This story actually emerged from Morticia’s actions and lines at the end. From that, I had to unravel it backwards as to what happened. For some reason, I fixated on the idea that a shapeshifter would want something steady and secure in their life — and Gomez wasn’t that. He’s always been the odd, intense, changes-course-in-a-heartbeat kind of strangeness whereas Morticia has been a steady stream of wicked darkess through the world. The stab-me-through-the-heart bit came last, when I already had Gomez’ submission to Morticia cutting him. I didn’t want Larissa to just give up, so, abruptly, her overly dramatic “Just KILL ME! I CAN’T LIVE WITHOUT YOU!” came pouring out. I’d like to think that Morticia would probably have acquiesed to that condition out of her love for Larissa, but also she knew Larissa well enough to tell they were being petulant and not serious. Somewhere out there is an AU where Larissa is a ghost who’s still in a successful throuple with Gomez and Morticia.

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